Detox

Day 180

“Most of us don’t fear that we are not enough; what most of us really fear is our own greatness. Most of us have a fear of success. Why? Because we don’t think that we deserve to be successful in anything. This is why people recklessly spend their money or don’t work as hard as they could or do things that they know are wrong. They are hindering their own success on purpose, because they don’t think they deserve it. They cut their own legs out from underneath them on purpose. They are self-sabotaging.”

– Lisa Bedrick

Yesterday’s post about reoccurring unwanted experiences got me thinking about what happens when we do learn the lessons that the Universe is trying to teach us. Once we receive the message and understand it intellectually, the next step is to internalize it as part of our mental programming, and accept it as our new truth. And when that happens, sometimes, fear sets in.

When you do a body cleanse or a detox of any kind, it’s not uncommon to experience some unpleasant symptoms like headaches, nausea and general malaise as the toxins leave your system. Likewise, when you detox your life, clear the limiting beliefs you’ve been holding on to, and begin to embrace your desires, unpleasant symptoms may begin to come up, and cause setbacks in the form of self-sabotage.

You see, when you begin to succeed – that is, when you start to overcome your self-doubt and embrace new ideas and beliefs that serve you better, when you begin to advance towards your desires, and evolve to a higher level, that’s when panic strikes. Don’t worry, that’s a good sign. When you experience panic, it means that you’re about to cross a threshold; you’re poised on the doorstep of manifesting your desire.

With my weight struggle for example, I’ve figured out that the lesson I needed to learn was to love myself unconditionally, and as I begin to feel it, there’s a part of me that wants to skip my workout and do things that won’t help me reach my goals.

Often times, when we begin to makes changes, we hinder our own progress without knowing why we’re doing so, because the “issue” serves a very valuable purpose for us.

No, I’m not losing it. You heard me right, the weight was a subconscious solution to help me, and maybe your issue is an excuse for you too. Maybe the conflict with your partner or colleague is the excuse you use not to get promoted at work, or share intimacy at home. Maybe the lack of financial stability you are constantly facing makes you feel like a “good” person because you have a limiting belief about wealth, or how rich people behave.

When you find yourself trying to make changes, but you still fall back into your old patterns despite your best efforts, maybe it’s self sabotage because you feel like you don’t deserve your desire. Listen to the stories you were telling yourself before you started to make changes – they offered a solution to your underlying fear.

What are your excuses for not doing what you love? Are you waiting until the kids grow up? Or to have a little extra money in the bank first? Maybe the constant lack of finances help you by giving you an excuse not to pursue your dreams. If there was enough money, and the kids were grown, you wouldn’t have anything to hide behind anymore, you’d have to face your fear of putting yourself out into the world, and actually succeeding.

Think about your excuses, you’ll find that your issue supports the real fear underneath. Like Marianne Williamson says in her famous quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

When you detox, you have to let the fear work itself through your system. Eventually, the symptoms will disappear, and you’ll be in a better place. Let go of your fears. You are good enough. You do deserve it. You are meant to shine. You deserve everything you desire!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!