Back to the Future

Day 81

RULE #1

TRUST YOURSELF. PERIOD.

“Study the past, if you would divine the future.”

– Confucius

I saw a message on social media the other day that stayed with me. The message read: “you know you’re on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.” I knew there had to be a reason I attracted the message, and why I got defensive when I read it.

When you have an emotional reaction to something that’s come into your path, regardless of how you react, it’s a sign that you need to pay attention to it.

I’ve been looking back a lot since I started blogging. I often share an anecdote from my past that relates to the current situation, and my Diamond Girl posts all look at the past. Not surprising I got defensive. The question is why.

When I look more closely at that statement, I agree with it in one sense:

You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past, but you can’t move into your future until you let go of your past, and you can’t let go of it, if you don’t look at it.

So, let’s take a look at the past. Here are some signs that you have some clearing and healing to do:

1. You are ashamed of your past.
2. You’re afraid to admit things from the past to yourself or others.
3. You’re trying to recreate your past in the present.
4. You’re afraid that your present will turn out the same as the past.
5. You can’t move forward because you are trying to hold on to your past, or someone from it.

If you answered yes to any of the above, it’s a good indication that there’s an underlying issue that you need to deal with, heal and let go of, so that you can move into the beautiful future that is waiting for you.

Yesterday I watched a documentary on total mind-body wellness, where a panel of experts shared their past experiences with the intent to help others to improve their lives. One particular expert said she wished somebody had told her what she now knows, before she went through her hardship, it might have made a difference.

And then it clicked. I got defensive when I read the statement about looking back because the reason I share my anecdotes is so that others can benefit from my experience. I’m reacting again. This time, instead of getting defensive, my look back at the past was validated by the documentary experts. It doesn’t matter what the reaction is, as long as it’s stirring something up inside, there’s something that needs to be addressed. I need to delve a little deeper.

So what’s really going on? I’m not looking back because I’m stuck, I’m looking back because I have dealt with those experiences, and I’m ok with sharing them in this very public forum. Or maybe I’m using this forum as a way to release and clear my own blocks that have manifested as layers of protection, literally and figuratively. Either way, it’s a good thing.

And, I’m ok with that.

I’m reacting to being told that my past is inconsequential. But why? It’s ok for someone else to think that, and share their view, I don’t have to agree. Ah ha! That’s why I’m reacting. I don’t need validation one way or the other from an external source, as long as what I think and believe works for me.

I didn’t plan on writing about my past experiences when I began this blog, I just let the Universe guide me. I trust that I am exactly where I need to be right now, and my actions will lead me to where I want to go – that’s the definition of surrender. I wasn’t sure what my message was when I started writing this post today. This rule wrote itself through me. Divine.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!