Physician, Heal Thyself

Day 67

“No is a complete sentence and so often we forget that. When we don’t want to do something we can simply smile and say no. We don’t have to explain ourselves, we can just say “No”. Early on my journey I found developing the ability to say no expanded my ability to say yes and really mean it. My early attempts at saying no were often far from graceful but with practice even my no came from a place of love. Love yourself enough to be able to say yes or no.”

– Susan Gregg

I’m not good at saying no. I always drop whatever I’m doing to put everyone else in my life first. The thing is, I’m not doing it from a place of love, because I get upset when they don’t reciprocate, I am doing it out of guilt and obligation. If there’s anything I’ve learned from the Law of Attraction, it’s that guilt and obligation are two of the worst emotional states to be in – the energetic vibration those emotions create is toxic and potent. You will never attract any good from that energy.

Ironically, the first affirmation I created yesterday for my If You Do, Others Will Too series was to Love Yourself. You must put your own needs first, otherwise you are telling your subconscious that you don’t matter, and what does that do, class? You attract experiences that show you that you don’t matter.

I’m not feeling very positive today. I had a barrage of requests from people for my time, and out of guilt and obligation, I focused on their needs instead of taking care of what I needed to do, knowing that it was going to set me back. Stressed out because I spread myself too thin, I’m pinging the Universe with a big fat ball of stress, frustration and angst. Guess what? The Universe responded in kind.

I’ve got some pretty decent tech chops, and I’m *usually* mindful of what I’m doing. In an effort to organize my computer files, I accidentally, but deliberately deleted my files of everything I’ve been collecting for years that I was using for Kurilane, thinking that the files I deleted were a copy. They weren’t. I emptied the trash bin. I don’t back up as often as I should. This has never happened to me before. I. Don’t. Do. That. OMG.

The Universe is always responding. My vibes must have been pretty intense to get such a quick and clearly reciprocal response. I went to work to try to recover my deleted files but will have to wait until tomorrow to find out if it’s going to work.

The real message I am getting from the Universe is that I need to love myself first, all the time, not just when it’s convenient. The people who are complaining about not getting enough of my time are simply a mirror showing me that I’m not making myself my own priority.

This reminds me of a book I once read, Being Indian by Pavan K. Varma, where he talks about the colonial mindset of Indians playing a big role in their inability to say no. Is this ingrained in me because of my cultural heritage? Probably somewhat. I’m sure there are some limiting beliefs buried beneath the surface, and maybe losing my data was a way to bring them to the surface.

Thank you. I’m starting to see the good in losing ALL my data. There is a method to the Master Plan’s Madness!

It’s a great thing to help others, but if you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be saying yes from a place of love. You have to be able to breathe first, before you help someone else with their oxygen mask. Take care of you. And then by all means, take care of everyone else.

Love yourself enough to be able to say yes or no.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!