Location, Location, Location

Day 76

RULE #27

LOCATION DOES NOT MATTER

“Love is always a leap into the unknown. You can try to control as many variables, and understand a situation as you can, but you’re still jumping off a cliff and hoping that someone catches you.”

– Lisa Kleypas

I had just moved back home from California to be closer to my dad. He had recovered from heart surgery a couple of years earlier, and I didn’t want to be so far away in case he took ill again. So, I was back in Canada, and after a 3-year hiatus from looking for Mr. Right, I was ready to give it another go.

Limiting Belief #1: I can’t live too far away from home in case my dad gets sick.

I’d been on my quest on and off for several years by now.  Although still in it’s infancy, online dating had taken root, with a few key reputable dating sites that had “a good selection”. Of course, there were the regulars, who you’d see on each site, and to my chagrin, I was one of them.

Limiting Belief #2: People are going to think I’m a loser because I’m still looking. I should stop looking.

By now, I could navigate the search results sitting on the other side of the room, while a well meaning relative looked through the database because they thought I was just too picky, and they would spot the one that I overlooked. Oh, nope, already spoke to that one, he’s out. Nope, that one isn’t interested in marriage. Nope, that one is 15 years older than his profile says he is. 

Limiting Belief #3: I’ve already weeded out everyone online, there’s no-one out there.

Around that time period, I got an email from a guy in London, UK. Normally, I wouldn’t have responded to someone across the pond, but his email was thoughtful and more personal than the usual standard first response, so I was intrigued. I looked at his profile, checked off all the must-have boxes, and decided to respond.

Limiting Belief #4: Most of the men on these sites are not genuine or thoughtful.

After exchanging a few emails, we decided to talk on the phone. Like so many times before, we had a great first conversation, which quickly turned into a daily routine. The excitement built up, and both of us thought maybe this is it. This wasn’t the first time I thought that either, but somehow, there was something different about this guy. Of course, it was too good to be true. He had an aging mother, his father had already passed away, and he was the only son in town to take care of his mother. That’s not only an Indian concept, but it is definitely an Indian concept, so I understood that he had to stay put, and he understood my reasons for not wanting to leave my dad. So, there we were, divided by an ocean, and it just didn’t make sense to continue the conversation since neither of us was willing to relocate at the time. And that was that.

Limiting Belief #5: If I’m interested in him, it probably won’t work out.

A few years later, I was looking through old emails and came across his, so I decided to drop him a line. Ok, let’s be honest, I didn’t come across his email, I looked for it – after you’ve been on the circuit for a while and had several disappointing encounters, you go back and look at the ones that weren’t so bad. Admit it, we all do it. I’ve gotten calls, text and emails from guys that I spoke to once, over 5 years earlier, saying “hi, remember me?”

Now that I’m writing this, I can see all of my limiting beliefs. It’s no wonder I didn’t meet Mr. Right online, my mind wasn’t even a little bit open to it. And that’s just what I’ve uncovered from this one post, who knows what else I’ll find.

When I teach people about the law of attraction, and explain that your thoughts create your reality, the first response I always get is “I didn’t want <insert bad thing> to happen, how can you say I created it?!” 

This is a good example of how it works. I consciously wanted to find my partner, but I believed I wouldn’t. My beliefs created my reality, despite what I wanted.

He wrote back and told me that he was happily married, had a child, and that he had told his wife about me. Wow, we had never even met. I’m pretty sure that if we had, and one of us had been willing to relocate, I’d be writing a different story today. Or maybe he came into my life for a brief moment, just so I could write this story.

Bottom line, it’s hard to meet someone special, and if you find that person on the other side of a little pond, take the leap. It’s a small world, and technology has made it even smaller. You can figure out the logistics together.

 Limiting Belief #6: It’s hard to find someone special. 

All of these limiting beliefs are ultimately a feeling of fear. Don’t let fear stand in the way of pursuing your desires.

When you face your fears, you find out that your desire is right there, waiting patiently on the other side, ready to fill your life with all the joy, abundance and love you deserve.

Really, take the leap, whether it’s romance, or work, or whatever it is, go.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!