Whispers Within

Day 134

“The soul has no secret that the behavior does not reveal.”

– Lao Tzu

Everyday this week, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night to find my cat Ippa sitting right next to me, waiting patiently for me to open my arms to let her in to cuddle. She doesn’t make a sound, and I don’t feel her moving across the bed, but somehow, my soul knows she’s there and I wake up. This has happened many times over the last several months, but I’ve been observing my surroundings with an acute level of awareness this week, so I’ve made the connection between this occurrence and a deeper awareness at a subconscious level.

“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.”

– Anne Sexton

We create everything in our lives for a reason. Even the “bad” things. And we always know the reason. We may not think we know why, and we may think it would be insane to want something “bad” to happen, but we do want it, for a reason. Each seemingly negative thing in your life serves a useful purpose for you. If you sit with it and allow yourself to really be honest, you will find the reasons. Ask the question and the answers will pop up.

Your soul knows.

Your soul knows why you are holding on to excess weight, even though you consciously want to release it, it knows why someone hurt you or lied to you, it knows why you chose the outfit you’re wearing right now. Just like my soul knows Ippa is there when I’m sound asleep, my soul knows why I created the “negative” experiences, even though I’m not awake to the reason.

It’s almost the end of the week now, and the negative feelings have given way to full-on exploration of the underlying thoughts and beliefs that attracted the unwanted experiences and feelings I’ve had lately into my reality. I am starting to gain clarity on why I attracted these experiences. I know that I have been trying to be positive for months now, I know that I’m a good person, I know that I’m not consciously trying to hold on to negativity, so what’s the reason for it?

I have some goals that I’ve been working towards, and I had some ideas of what steps I was going to take to achieve those goals. This week’s “negative” feelings have made it clear that I need to change direction, and now I know that my soul already knew that my plan wasn’t for my greatest good, or for the greatest good of everyone involved, and that’s what created the experiences in the first place.

Also, as I said in the post titled Chrysalis, I was trying to figure out how to express a full range of emotions in my positivity blog and stay on topic. Now I know that I needed to go through this experience so I would be able to write this Keep It Real Series, which has allowed me to free myself from the belief that I could only write about “feel-good” topics. I now feel free to explore a broader range of emotions, and hopefully my additional topics will continue to inspire you to keep going through the hard times.

Further, I firmly believe that the most powerful message is one that comes from authenticity.  There’s nothing wrong with my feel-good posts, and sometimes they have the most impact, but other times, the message is better received if my words have the same intensity and feeling as someone going through a difficult experience. If you feel that I can’t relate to your experience, you won’t hear my message.

If I only express happy and positive feelings, I may not be able to offer inspiration and reach the ones who need it the most, to those who are in a rut and don’t know how to get out, to those who have no where else to turn. Know that I understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes, it feels like enough is enough and it’s time to throw in the towel and stop trying. What’s the use right? You’re just going to find more resistance around the corner and the same old shit is going to keep happening.

Know that there’s a reason for it. It’s for your greatest good. Let the storm pass and then listen for the answers. If you ask the questions, I promise you, the answers will come.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!