“The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with [their] identity.”
– Tony Robbins
I spoke with two people I’m close to today, both told me about situations they experienced in the last 24 hours where they chose to ignore their own voice in favor of following the opinions of others because they were afraid of what people would say about them if they didn’t, and they wanted the approval of others. Then I attracted several messages online about self-belief, tuning out the noise, and inner strength. Synchronicity. That made my antennae stand up – I knew I had to write about this.
From a young age, we are given mixed messages – on the one hand, our parents teach us to be self-confident, to embrace our uniqueness and follow our hearts, and in the next breath, we’re told to follow the rules, color inside the lines, literally, eat all our vegetables, and have respect for authority. It’s no wonder that as adults we’re afraid of marching to our own tune. We’re more concerned with what people think of us than what we think of ourselves. It’s a deep rooted belief ingrained in our thinking.
Most of us spend much of our lives trying to fit in with the crowd. The funny thing is that we put great value on those who don’t. We applaud the misfits and underdogs in the movies and in our own lives. We feel a sense of joy and satisfaction when we meet someone who beats to their own drum. We are drawn to them, we want to be around them, we want to be like them. They are the ones who go down in our history books for achieving greatness. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of a single person in history who ever achieved greatness by following the crowd. I want to be just like so-and-so, they were such a great follower. Said no one. Ever.
You might say you’re not interested in achieving greatness by that definition, and you don’t have to be. Greatness is about being true to yourself, it’s about having confidence in your own thoughts and ideas without needing external validation, it’s about honoring your own spirit, without regard to how others will perceive you if you color outside the lines. The idea of being unencumbered by social rules reminds me of a scene from 27 Dresses where the main characters let loose.
I know it’s a movie, and it’s scripted, but notice what happens as the people around start to watch the main characters. They start to loosen up, and you can almost see their inner spirits come alive. The vibe changes, and all of a sudden, it’s a room of energetic souls full of joy, and not just bodies drowning their sorrows in a bottle. You can feel the energy, and you my reader, you felt the energy too. I bet you started bobbing your head right along with our friends on the big screen and wanted to join the party.
How many times have you wanted to just let go, get up and sing wherever you were and not give a sh*t about what anyone around you thought? That’s why we love scenes like this, and why we’re drawn to people who stand out from the crowd. They make us feel like it’s ok to take the layers of “shoulds” off and run free. Feels good doesn’t it? That feeling is your spirit waking up, trying to break down all the barriers that keep you from expressing yourself completely.
The truth is, if you’re concerned with what other people think or might say about you if you don’t follow the crowd, or if you’re afraid to do what you want because you think people won’t approve, it’s your own fear, and the person standing in front of you, telling you to conform is simply a mirror reflection of what’s going on inside.
Sometimes the best way to break down those fears is to give the person in front of you the middle finger salute. This symbolic gesture may be all you need to do to help you conquer whatever belief or fear you’re holding on to.
If you have a desire to do, or be, or have something, and fear is holding you back, know that following the crowd will not get the result you really want. If you try to cater to the masses, and do what you think people want, you’re doing yourself a big disservice because you’re not being authentic or following your passion. When you compromise yourself to be something that you’re not, it will never make you happy, so that’s the energetic vibration you’ll send out to the Universe, which of course will attract more experiences that make you feel unhappy, afraid to pursue your passion, or express your own unique voice.
The more you flex your “I am not afraid to be myself” muscle, the more you come into your own skin and awaken to Who You Really Are. When that happens, you send out an energetic vibration of confidence that is so strong and pure that the Universe responds with an unparalleled force of positive energy. Doors open, people are drawn to you like magnets, and you radiate a vibrance that shines brighter than the moon. And remember those people you were afraid would talk about you if you didn’t conform? They are in line to be part of whatever you are doing because your light is shining from the inside out.
Next time that fear comes up, and you’re afraid to step away from the crowd, give it the middle finger salute. Color outside of the lines, be bold, be unafraid of what people will say. Rock it! Like Bennie and the Jets. 🙂
Thank you, thank you, thank you!