The Gift of the Magi

Day 157

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

– Buddha

I did a couple of things in the last couple of days as symbolic gestures that may not seem to be a big deal, but they really show me how much I’ve transformed my thinking about myself since I began this positivity journey

I have always been very generous and giving to others, but up until now, I would rarely spend extra money on myself. Even if I was low on funds, and couldn’t afford more than the basics for myself, I would have no problem giving away large amounts of money to help out a loved one in need, but I wouldn’t splurge on something that meant the world to me.

Not anymore.

I’ve had long hair for most of my life. There were a couple of years in high school that I had medium length hair, but for the most part it’s always hovering near my waist. My special hairbrush made specifically for long thick hair like mine broke a while ago and I’ve been wanting to replace it, but it’s hard to come by, and the only one I’ve been able to find is way more expensive than I think a hairbrush should cost. A couple of days ago, I finally decided that I was worth it, and bought the way-too-expensive-hairbrush.

And today, I got all of my hair cut off and now it’s above my shoulders. Above my shoulders – I don’t think I’ve ever had it this short in my life!

You see, like I mentioned yesterday, I started visualizing my fitness goals at the beginning of the month, and I’ve been able to see my ideal body, but I haven’t been able to feel myself in that body until I was sitting in the salon chair, and at that moment, I felt myself in my perfect shape. In the scene, my hair looked like it did for that brief period when I had semi-short hair, and I decided it was a sign to start afresh, let go of the extra weight symbolically represented by my long locks, and see my image of youth and vibrance manifested.

Buying the brush and then cutting off my hair, which makes the brush less useful, was the best thing I could have done for myself. It was a symbolic gift. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I am free to be me…the real me!

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am okay.”

– Virginia Satir

Be good to yourself. You deserve it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

3 thoughts on “The Gift of the Magi

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