Day 72

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”

– Nathaniel Branden

I’ve spent the last two days spinning my wheels. I had a thought that I was writing about, and I kept spinning off on a tangent, so I went with it, five times, but my focus was too broad and I wasn’t able to make it flow. So now, I have five partially written posts, all with important messages, but I can’t seem to complete the thoughts. When that happens, I do this – start fresh and hope that the keyboard and a Divine force will take over and write for me.

So far, so good. I know well enough that when I have writer’s block, there’s probably a reason for it. Something must have come to the surface that I need to clear, but I’m not consciously aware of what it is yet. Maybe if I retrace my steps for the last couple of days, it’ll shed light on the bigger picture. My last couple of posts were talking about freedom, limiting beliefs and surrendering to the Universe to guide you. That’s it. Surrender. Hmm. I’m holding on too tight, trying to control the voice, instead of just letting it flow.

That reminds me of a conversation I had with a medium a few years ago. It was about a year and a half after my dad left this world, and a friend told me about a nationally syndicated radio show with a medium who was able to connect with people who had passed on to the other side. I tried calling in once, but couldn’t get through, so I dropped the idea. On this particular day, out-of-the-blue, my friend suggested I call in again. I said I would, and then went about my day and forgot about it. About an hour before the live show began, I was clear across town and didn’t think I’d get back home in time to call – I didn’t want to be out and about for this call. I raced home and called just as the show began. To my surprise, I got through. When I spoke with Steve Godfrey, he confirmed he had my dad coming through. I recorded the 6-minute conversation I had with him, and I’ve transcribed the part that I think I need to share today.

“I need to mention something. What I need to explain to you is that a lot less being in your head and a lot more trusting in God’s plan. It’s very important for you that when something crazy happens, that you say, ‘Ok I realize I don’t understand everything that’s going on, but God has a reason for this.’ You, more than anybody needs to believe in the notion that everything happens for a reason, and that you don’t have to be in control of everything.”

“You need to be meditating everyday. It’s very important. Look, you get the answers to things when you meditate and allow it to come to you, but it’s not going to work when you try to figure out the answers in your head. It’s why you analyze the heck out of everything. You’re not supposed to analyze anything. You’re supposed to trust in God’s higher plan, so give it to God, and let go…your life will get a lot happier.”

OMG! I haven’t thought about that conversation or listened to the recording in years. I obviously need to let go, stop analyzing and trust in God’s plan. Now if I only knew what it was…I know, I know, let go already! And meditate.

It’s been an hour or so since I’ve been sitting in silence, allowing answers to come to me. What am I trying to control? I keep getting the re-occuring thought that I need to change my environment, that I need to get out of my comfort zone and do something different. The Universe has presented me with opportunities to change my environment but I have chosen not to pursue them because I’m comfortable with the way things are. If I think about it, I want a change, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the unknown, I’m afraid that it might not turn out well, so I’ve chosen the status quo, until now.

When you are presented with an opportunity to change your situation, it is the Universe’s way of moving you in the direction of your desires.

If you don’t take it, the Universe will present another option, and another, until you take one, or eventually, the Universe will force you to move in that direction if you don’t chose it on your own. That’s usually when something “bad” happens. Those are the circumstances that when you look back, you understand they were pivotal in making your life better. If you are mindful, you can chose to act before the Universe forces you to act, and save yourself some trouble.

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

– Steve Jobs

I have apparently uncovered the reason for my block. I’m aware of it, I’ve even accepted it. Now I need to act on it. If you’re experiencing an obstacle in your path, or going through a hard time, take some time to pause, get out of your own head, meditate and allow the answers to come to you. Have faith, the answer will come.

You know what you need to do, you always do, you just choose to ignore it until you can’t anymore. I suspect that some of you out there needed this message as much as I did, and that’s why it caused a literal halt for the last couple of days. Remember, small steps. We’ll get there. Together.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Embrace your journey into self discovery.

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